I Want to Have a Baby but My Girl Dont
please keep anon or delete mods, my gf uses this site sometimes
Howdy guys I take a bit of a strange situation that I could utilise some advice regarding. I'm a 24 y/o guy and I'thou ready to first having kids, the only problem is my girlfriend says she's not ready. I know this is a fleck unusual as it's usually the other way round with it beingness the daughter who wants a baby. I've brought upward the subject with her a few times and she says she's simply not fix just information technology's something I actually desire. Does anyone take and experience with a situation similar this? Whatever advice on how I might convince her or at least how to brand her run into things from my point of view?
Okay, no experience whatsoever regarding this state of affairs.
However, the only thing that I can really remember of is that unfortunately you are probably going to have to alive with her decision.
One more thought is that you may besides want to be fully certain that she also wants to have a child before y'all start trying, if she says she does. I'thousand not proverb that she won't desire a child but if she of a sudden turns around and says 'okay', it could quite maybe simply exist hormonal rather than fully thought out.
I don't think you can actually convince her to modify her mind. Talk to her - come across if she plans to have them in the futurity (she's still got a proficient few years in her before the clock starts ticking). It might not exist that long before she'due south prepare.. a year or two.. which isn't that long to wait really.
It takes ii - and you'll both take to agree over it. Sorry, only she is the one that has to comport it for ix months.
Enquire her when she wants kids/what her plans are for the side by side few years.
It may take even longer to find someone else so have kids 
I would say leave information technology a year and so bring upward the subject once more. She may feel tell young, want to experience life before being tied down or salve some money first. Would y'all change the nappies, meet to a crying baby at nighttime and clean up the ill? Its all not rosy!
Why do you desire a baby really?
A pregnancy is a significant conclusion. It volition impact the residual of your lives, and while you may be fix for it, she clearly is not.
I think y'all should both have a good conversation about it. Tell her your expectations, without trying to pressurise her. Ask her why she's not ready, and whether she'd eventually similar to take a baby someday. Try to empathize her reasons, so y'all can brand upwards your mind about what you'd like to exercise.
The matter is although she says she isn't ready I'm certain she is! If she was meaning she would have the baby and I know she'd realise that nosotros're fix and it's something we desire. She's always been willing to listen to my opinion about other things in our relationship so I don't sympathize why she isn't even willing to consider this.
A babe is a huge commitment and totally different to agreeing on what movie y'all should scout tonight. Maybe she feels she could be trapped equally she would exist stuck at home looking later the babe. You wouldn't be able to take as much liberty similar nights out etc. My friend separate with his gf recently over him wanting kids. She only only started educational activity and had passion more than for her career, she was 25 and probably felt after years at uni she wants to make a go of her career.
Why are you so sure she is ready? Being gear up to accept an adventitious pregnancy and beingness ready to actively try to concieve are two VERY unlike things. I have thought about it for myself and there is quite a departure betwixt the age i'd accept an accidental pregnancy and the age I think i'd first begin to consider actively getting meaning.
You only can't pressure her into this. No two ways about information technology i'm agape.
kids at 24? make certain you're ready.
and if she's non, find out what her concerns are, they're probably quite applied ones you lot should also consider.
i don't think you could modify her mind, because it's something you volition have to live for, i say requite it another year, only explain to her that you want babies and that yous are willing to wait as long as it takes.
If leaving her and looking for another women to have a baby with is an option i don't think you should have a baby with her.
(Original mail by Riddy)
Why do you desire a baby really?
This is the question.
Considering I know her very very well, better than she knows herself sometimes. I merely know it'south right for us, it'south the next step in our relationship simply she seems so against it. We only use the pill as contaception because I hate the experience of condoms, I could hibernate her pills and promise that she'll be also lazy to get more for a while or I even thought about replacing them with fakes? I'm non sure nigh the lagality of doing something like that, but like I said I know she'd want to be pregnant if it actually happened and she thought it was only failed contraception.
Plenty of time to have children nonetheless, accept fun with your girlfriend first. At the end of the day she doesn't desire them yet and then i'd respect her feelings on the thing.
I call back if you hid her pills/replaced them so you wouldn't accept a girlfriend anymore. Just be patient. I never used to desire kids at all but now i'm with my current bf (of 2 years) and so i'm actually coming circular to the idea because i tin can see myself having kids with him.
(Original mail by Bearding)
Because I know her very very well, improve than she knows herself sometimes. I simply know information technology'southward correct for us, it's the next footstep in our relationship but she seems and so against it. We but use the pill equally contaception because I hate the feel of condoms, I could hibernate her pills and hope that she'll be too lazy to get more for a while or I even thought about replacing them with fakes? I'k not sure about the lagality of doing something like that, only similar I said I know she'd want to be pregnant if it actually happened and she idea it was just failed contraception.
that is NOT an option!
As well, the adjacent stp for you i recall is marriage.
To me mate, you're existence.. almost controlling. You CANNOT say that she is prepare and doesn't realise it. There'southward still the natural thought that women all want kids, so she'll accept actively decided she doesn't most likely, not just decided it as a passing thought.
This isn't the aforementioned as where you lot live or work, or what furniture to become - this is an 18 year (and 9 months) delivery! She'southward got to go through pregnancy and all the effects information technology will take on her, both physically and emotionally.
It's non HER who needs to think this through, information technology'southward yous, I'm distressing.
Edit: God you lot're an idiot! When a woman gets meaning, she has to have a claret test to confirm information technology. On that claret exam, they can tell from her hormones levels if she's been on the pill. if they're too low, so she's going to find out.
Respect your girlfriend and don't forcefulness her into something that You lot want.
(Original post by Anonymous)
We only employ the pill equally contaception because I hate the feel of condoms, I could hide her pills and hope that she'll be too lazy to get more for a while or I even thought nearly replacing them with fakes? I'thou not sure nearly the lagality of doing something like that, merely like I said I know she'd want to be meaning if it really happened and she thought it was just failed contraception.
No. No no no no no.
I cannot brainstorm to tell you how aroused I would exist if my boyfriend did this to me, regardless of whether I wanted a baby or not because that's a decision for a couple to brand together. This is a LIFE CHANGING Determination. Y'all are in a relationship with this girl, presumably you make decisions together. This means yous, whether you similar it or not, have to expect for explicit consent from her before yous throw out the contraception.
Are you lot being serious? I almost can't believe you are.
Source: https://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=531718
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